Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Sunday January 19th - Playdowns and finals

A strange thing happened on Saturday night after an extended dinner at Rib Eyed Jacks - both Brent and Byron went home at a reasonable hour.  These guys had their game faces on for Sunday (as opposed to their shit faces).

First up Brent and Mark against Sean and the Falconer.  Great match and shooting by both Alex and Sean in game one.  Game two was a sea saw affair early but Mark and Brent pulled away to win relatively easily.  Game three was a great struggle - Brent and Mark went up 11-10 only to see Sean and Alex get to three match points at 14-12.  Some great gets and unfortunate misses had the decider tied at 14.  Match ball ended up being a let called by one of the Falconer/Sean twosome and the player in the way was his partner.  ("Sorry Alex one too many lets."  Gary Long)


Mark Litton and Chris Barrett took on Byron and 3 a.m. Norm Crook next.  Apparently there was a Donnelly siting the night before which might have contributed to Norm's flushed appearance.   
Mark fighting a bad groin and Chris put up a good fight before going down.  Happiest man in the building after the match was James Mallon who broke the cherry and had his consortium get into the money for first time.

Cass Quinn and Al Cook played the third match against the quick duo of Scott Austin and Josh Chartrand.  Josh quickly learned that this was not Div 5.  Despite their best efforts to isolate Cass, the young lads went down 2 straight.  Al shook things up with some great service returns.  If this match goes three the young guns would have won.

The last quarter final featured James Mallon and Ted (still hasn't passed his doping test) against Rick James and Norm Gaudette.  This was an entertaining match with Norm showing great composure from the back of the court.  Norm actually called off Rick in the front of the court to make a shot also.  Rick was on fire and this twosome advanced to the semis.



Semi final one had Cass and Al taking on Brent and Mark.  Cass had a hard time recovering from the quarters.  The Brent/Mark team held the gap in game one before Cass had to retire due to chest pains.  He was heard to say "this is a hell of a way to hang up my last game at the Calcutta."  
Cass is resting in hospital for a couple of days and everyone clearly sends him our best wishes.  Cheers Cass.

Semi final two went three games with Byron and Norm losing game one but winning game two rather easily over Super Freak and the Pirate.  Game three was  sea saw affair with  the fricking Peters team of Rick and Gaudette advancing to the finals.  

After a short break, the crowd got ready for the final.  The Morton consortium was on the left hand side of the spectator area and Peters and his rejects were on the right side.  Game one went easily to Rick and Norm.  Game two was a different matter as the relentless moving of Rick by Brent and Mark created a "chink in the armor".

Game three had Brent and Mark make up their six point deficit and look like they were about to take control.  Some great shot making by both Rick and Norm held the lads off and Rick and Norm won 3rd game 15-13.  

Congrats Norm and Rick
Brent and Mark


Winnings as follows:


  1. Norm and Rick split $500
  2. Brent and Mark split $250
  3. Byron and Norm Crook split $150 
  4. Al and Cass split $100
Bracket winner with 30 points was Mark McKeown winning an undisclosed amount of cash ($5 per player plus any non players who participated).

Calcutta payouts

  1. Fricking Peters group $5790
  2. Morton group - $2645
  3. Crook group $1585
  4. Hughes group $1060

Thanks to Nate for organizing, the handicap committee (Nate, Richard, John G, Gary, fricking Peters), Brent and Josh for doing up brackets and all the participants and spectators.

Special thanks to primary sponsor Greg Brechin, Brechin and Huffman Lawers and secondary sponsors Clive and Neil Cawse from Geotab and Richard Bellm of Halton Honda.

That's it for today - over and out.

 





Sunday, January 18, 2015

Saturday January 17th Calcutta Happenings

How do you mess up a lot of brackets?  Well Super Freak and The Pirate did just that in the first match of the day by pasting favoured Ces and Gordo in two straight.  The winners displayed the same formation that got them to last year's championship - Norm camped at back of court picking his corners and hitting the occasional lob to allow Rick to get back into position.

Speaking of Ces, he set another Calcutta record by being the first person ever to submit his bracket and get zero games correct.  Yes that's right of the first 12 matches played, Ces predicted zero correctly.  Now is not the time for you to buy a lottery ticket Ces.

The second match had Norm and Byron against Colin and yours truly.  All 3 games went 15-14.  Described by many as the most entertaining match of the day, Norm and Byron won the third to advance.  Those who had me getting hit the most will have to wait another year for that - two rackets in the arm is all I had to pay for playing against the most aggressive right waller in the tourney.

The order of matches got a little blurry after the second match of the day.  I do know that James Mallon and Ted Charuk played exceptionally well to take out Ivan and Derek two straight.  There will be doping tests on Ted today.  

Another Calcutta first took place in the Steve Kearns and Big Ian Camacho  match versus Barrett and Litton.  The versatile B/L combo switched walls again with Chris on the left for their second match of the tourney.  After a first game, where it looked like Steve and Ian might not make positive figures, Steve and Ian took the second relatively easily to set up the finale.  During one point, Ian made a great return of a volley  - the problem was it was Steve who had hit the volley - point Barrett and Litton.  Chris and Mark won 2-1 to advance to the quarters.

Neil Cawse and Ed Corbett showed up for the last match of the day and felt the pain of having to play Super Freak and the Pirate.  2-0 and the boys continue to the quarters.

Gotta love this pose

On the other side of the draw, the young guns Scott Austin and Josh, yeah I will ref, Chartrand, took on +5 Kretzie and Bellm.  The vets figured out they needed to slow the game down in game two to force a third game.  Josh, leading the tournament in skinned knees and hands, and Scott played well enough to advance.

Al Cook and Cass Quinn, now fully acquainted with each other then took on Big Paul Grootendorst and John Graham.  Cass had already been hit in his match against Mark Braden.  Keeping that trend going, big Paul hit a hard backhand into Cass's lower back, barely missing the area from Cass's surgery the previous week. 

Cass and Al win in two to advance to play the young lads in quarters.

Cass almost fell off the wagon

Finally, Dave Peters and Mike Philp played Mckeown and Hurtubise in a very entertaining match that went two straight.  Mike did his job of lobbing that bejesus out of Brent and waiting for him to cave.  Well that did not happen.  Partner Mark predicted that Brent would be cool, calm and collected and kick butt.  So far he is right.

When asked what went wrong, Dave told yours truly that he broke the wrong racket and had his shirt on backwards.  Don't worry Dave we only paid $720 for you ya fricker!



Matches start at 10 on Sunday.  See you there.

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Friday the 16th results

The first match featured Doug Walton and Calcutta sponsor Greg Brechin (thanks for sponsoring Greg) against Mark Mckeown and Brent (when will he implode) Hurtubise.  Mark and Brent had a 3 point advantage and played solidly to win first game easily.  

In second game, Doug and Greg fought back to trail 8-7 and it looked like Brent was about to fall apart.  That certainly did not happen - both he and Mark righted the ship and played exceptionally well to win the match 2 straight.  Good work boys.


Second match had Buffalo Doubles Champion Rob Bowder and Gord Hughes against Mark Litton and Chris Barrett.  Lots of comments in the crowd about the attire of short shorts Bowder and Ed Grimley.

Litton and Barrett switched walls and played well enough to pull out a 2-0 win.



Everyone was looking forward to the third match with hot Alex Falconer and Sean McDonough, getting two points, against Gary Never Wrong Long and Clive Cawse.

This was a very entertaining match.  Clive and Gary peppered the left wall with every shot imaginable.  The result was the labeling of a new squash shot "The Falconer" (credit Ivan Hunt).  Alex and Sean deserved the 2-0 win for sure.  Good stuff here!

Cass Quin and Al Cook introduced themselves to each other as they stepped on the court to play Mark Braden and Calcutta coordinator Nate Drew. (Thank you Nate).  

Would this match go three?  Nope.  Cass and Al played to the left wall effectively winning game one relatively easily.  Nate and Mark fought back in game two and at 14-14 Al hit a hard breaker on the left wall for the winning shot.  

Ivan also declared he is the first one ever to go  4-0 on the first night bracket.  Certainly he at least ties the record.

See you Saturday  - first match up Ces and Gord against the Pirate and Super Freak at 10

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Paul Kretz and Richard Bellm

Paul is teamed with the shy Richard Bellm. Richard was too self conscious to complete his profile this year.  






Paul Kretz



1.      What is Mike Donnelly doing right now?
a.      Trying to predict what shirt Norm Crook is wearing to his next party
b.      Giving lessons to Alex
c.       Training for a triathlon
d.      Mike who?
e.      Other -- insert answer

2.      Why is Nate’s parents RV really not making the trip to the Smitty next year?
No beer fridge big enough

3.      Which team will win the Calcutta this year and predict one or two teams that will be out in the first round.
Bellm and Kretz for the win and their opponents of the first round.

Former champion Bellm by one point and former runner up by one point Kretz
It was Chris Clarks fault he made me take the shot and told me to play safe(okay I screwed up the front wall is a little short) Cass gave me a hundred bucks for missing!!


4.      Who is least likely to venture above the red line?
a.      Cass Quinn
b.      Norm Gaudette   landslide winner It is electified
c.       Norm Crook
d.      Mark Braden
e.      Ted Charuk  He is a speedster

5.      In this year’s Calcutta Brent is most likely to:
a.      Throw a racquet
b.      Call himself stupid
c.       Lose his squash bag
d.      Forget his house keys and get locked out
e.      Not be able to see straight on Sunday morning
f.        All of the above plus --- insert answer
Still fun to play against





6.      Who will get hit most in the Calcutta
a.      Byron
b.      Jeff
c.       Rick Jury easiest target unless he is diving
d.      Whoever is playing Nate
e.      Whoever is playing Dave Peters

7.      Which of the following is the World’s sexiest woman? (pictures on blog)
a.      Kate Upton
b.      Jennifer Anniston  former Mrs Morton
c.       Jessica Hart
d.      Jhene Aiko






Rob Bowder

Now here is a guy who likes to have fun. 


Rob Bowder
(always coaching!)
 
Photo Bomb

1.      What is Mike Donnelly doing right now?
a.      Trying to predict what shirt Norm Crook is wearing to his next party
b.      Giving lessons to Alex
c.       Training for a triathlon
d.      Mike who?
e.    Other – picking flowers 



2.      Why is Nate’s parents RV really not making the trip to the Smitty next year?
They are filming another sequel of Christmas vacation and need an RV for Uncle Eddie

3.      Which team will win the Calcutta this year and predict one or two teams that will be out in the first round.
Why?  That’s why we bet, I’m not telling anyone!

4.      Who is least likely to venture above the red line?
a.      Cass Quinn
b.      Norm Gaudette
c.       Norm Crook
d.      Mark Braden
e.      Ted Charuk
f.      Mike Donelly


5.      In this year’s Calcutta Brent is most likely to:
a.      Throw a racquet
b.      Call himself stupid
c.       Lose his squash bag
d.      Forget his house keys and get locked out
e.      Not be able to see straight on Sunday morning
f.      All of the above plus --- me for filling out this stupid blog!





6.      Who will get hit most in the Calcutta
a.      Byron
b.      Jeff
c.       Rick Jury
d.      Whoever is playing Nate
e.      Whoever is playing Dave Peters
f.      Gary Long, if he’s playing against me!

7.      Which of the following is the World’s sexiest woman? (pictures on blog)
a.      Kate Upton
b.      Jennifer Anniston
c.       Jessica Hart
d.      Jhene Aiko
f.      All of the above



Chris Barrett and Mark Litton

It's a bit different doing posts after the draw is held.  Chris and Mark are a solid team with a good draw.  If Chris plays steady we know Mark will run and gun.  Watch out for this team.

Chris Barrett

Mark Litton
Chris Barrett

1.      What is Mike Donnelly doing right now?
a.      Trying to predict what shirt Norm Crook is wearing to his next party
b.      Giving lessons to Alex
c.       Training for a triathlon
d.      Mike who?
e.      Other – He is still upset at not getting to partner with me – twice I believe.

2.      Why is Nate’s parents RV really not making the trip to the Smitty next year?

I hear Nate drives, like he plays the outfield, all over the place.  He probably hit too many potholes going through Montreal.

3.      Which team will win the Calcutta this year and predict one or two teams that will be out in the first round.

Assuming Mark and I are awake and Mark can run all over the court, it would be us!

4.      Who is least likely to venture above the red line?
a.      Cass Quinn
b.      Norm Gaudette
c.       Norm Crook  with his reverse, why would he?
d.      Mark Braden
e.      Ted Charuk

5.      In this year’s Calcutta Brent is most likely to:
a.      Throw a racquet
b.      Call himself stupid
c.       Lose his squash bag
d.      Forget his house keys and get locked out
e.      Not be able to see straight on Sunday morning
f.        All of the above plus --- video himself to remember what happened





6.      Who will get hit most in the Calcutta
a.      Byron
b.      Jeff  assuming he plays us
c.       Rick Jury
d.      Whoever is playing Nate
e.      Whoever is playing Dave Peters

7.      Which of the following is the World’s sexiest woman? 
a.      Kate Upton   got to go for the best chest.  Verlander had a rough year, so she should be available.
b.      Jennifer Anniston
c.       Jessica Hart
d.      Jhene Aiko


Mark Litton

1.      What is Mike Donnelly doing right now?
a.      Trying to predict what shirt Norm Crook is wearing to his next party
b.      Giving lessons to Alex
c.       Training for a triathlon
d.      Mike who?
e.      Other -- insert answer
I am going with Triathlon – eating muffins, donuts and bagels!  (editor's note - 2014 Calcutta saw Mike get bageled versus Rick James and the Pirate)

2.      Why is Nate’s parents RV really not making the trip to the Smitty next year?
It is going to be tested to see if it is the “stinkiest RV in History” – could be in the record books for generations.

3.      Which team will win the Calcutta this year and predict one or two teams that will be out in the first round.

Morty and Colin have a good chance to win. Morty will get lots of room on the right wall as no one wants to get bled on (ask his opponents from Buffalo) and Colin will run everything down.

4.      Who is least likely to venture above the red line?
a.      Cass Quinn
b.      Norm Gaudette
c.       Norm Crook
d.      Mark Braden
e.      Ted Charuk
f.        All of the above! But if the Norm G does make it to the front wall he should sign it – “ The Pirate was here”

5.      In this year’s Calcutta Brent is most likely to:
a.      Throw a racquet
b.      Call himself stupid
c.       Lose his squash bag
d.      Forget his house keys and get locked out
e.      Not be able to see straight on Sunday morning
f.        All of the above plus --- insert answer

Brent is maturing – I think he will just stick to calling himself Stupid.

6.      Who will get hit most in the Calcutta
a.      Byron
b.      Jeff
c.       Rick Jury
d.      Whoever is playing Nate
e.      Whoever is playing Dave Peters

Easy one – Morty. He is quite often confused on the court and actually runs into the ball, his opponents racquet etc….

7.      Which of the following is the World’s sexiest woman? (pictures on blog)
a.      Kate Upton
b.      Jennifer Anniston
c.       Jessica Hart
d.      Jhene Aiko
Ms. Upton – gotta love the twins